subtle reality

suddenly and unexpectedly,
you give me a deep pang

and its not your presence but your absence
that gives me an intense hang

is it addiction or madness,
or this emptiness and sadness....
no motion, only pause
no end, only wait
am i nothing but a mere picture
with eyes wide open giving a vacant stare?

is that stare a WAIT?
a wait to console myself,
a wait to confuse myself,
or something to corrode myself...

suddenly and unexpectedly
i wonder
WHY DO YOU GIVE ME A DEEP PANG............................


oct 22, 2012

despite all...

despite all that happens
despite all complications
despite all barriers
i still think about you

u made me a writer,
a poet, a scribbler
i thank you for all of these
i now feel so complete

i cannot say i love you
i cannot let you go
neither can i forget you
nor do i wish so

i have loved you silently
this feeling stays hidden inside me
u have loved me the same way
somewhere i know u need me

meant to be away
meant to be unknown
but all i wish is cherish this feeling forever

i could never stop thinking about you
           never stop writing for you
despite all the barriers.....

one choice i made, with so many regrets....

spaces once filled with joy are now vacant and empty;

i wish to take a leap ahead, BACKOFF is what i hear.

i was the one who made an attempt,

an attempt to be stranded far away in the sea of feelings;

and now the sounds inside my head scares me,

i am all alone and moving ahead in this journey.

spaces once filled with joy are now vacant and empty;

i wish to take a leap ahead, i have left no choices, Oh dear!!!

getting over heartaches...

had we had no emotions...no feelings....lyf wud hav been much simpler .....dat's wot i think wen i get shattered wid da harsh words of my luvd ones.....but once things get okay....perception changes...dat's obvious..:)

a strange pain strikes our heart wen things go rough wid da ones we care or love or respect or all uv 'em....many uv us myt cry....tears act as one uv da best medicines...aint no doubt about it....but da next one is definitely music....music sparkles our lives..it helps us overcome da emotional disturbances..on da contrary we've also heard uv da instances uv people either committing or attempting to commit suicide after listening to music...

i believe its all about how a particular person takes things....dat is how that person reacts....we have no control over spontaneous actions dat we demonstrate, but yes, we can make an attempt to gradually leave behind the negativity in ourselves...BiT By BiT...

i had read somewhere that before doing anything when we are angry, if we for once try to think about it and analyse the situation.....it refrains us from doing anything wrong or harsh.....i tried it n trust me it works....though da urge to break things or b violent tries its level best to have control over you if u r amongst the violent ones wen angry...

and after tears n music .....one thing that awaz has the right click on me wenever m upset is writin down everything that is on my head...it helps me loosen up.....feel better n much more relaxed.....n guess wot...dat iz wot m doin right now..;)

in a doubt

i could never understand
nor could i interpret
you did never speak it up
i guess now it is too late....

relationships

so, today i accidentally went through a video which talked about relationships....more specifically, love relationships...people fall in love and that magic makes them feel as if on top of the world, they get deeper into it, get richer n stronger, n then at one instant , for some not-so-specific reasons if they happen to part their ways.....that is the worst feeling of all....a feeling of complete isolation and loneliness...one feels as if its the end of the world.....a feeling of fuzziness....something that the person feels will never get out of.....but life has its own way of teaching lessons or say moulding a person.....people love , they break up , they feel like dying, but still, they survive......heartbreak is hard to handle....tough to overcome.....whatever be the reason of the breakup, it always leaves behind a heavy heart, what stays behind is the memory......i wonder if there was a way to erase all those memories from our minds...life would have been much simpler and easier....had we have the ability to erase the unnecessary ones and safely protect the ones that bring us joy...but things don't come so easy......the more we  talk about it, the more complicated it gets. the best thing to do is take life as it comes.....well....few things are easier said than done and falling for someone, then parting ways and again recuperating that sabotaged heart falls under that category....despite all of these complications one truth that every melancholic heart needs to realise is that TIME HEALS EVERYTHING....i know its difficult to console oneself with such thoughts, they appear as mere words at the time of emotional breakdown but in the end......TIME proves out to be the best MEDICINE.....but the BIG question is, can a broken-hearted take things that way when he is emotionally so unstable....jUsT a LitTlE tHoUgHt!!!

Patriotism in one thing that is easy to say but difficult to implement. In the name of identity, Nepal is heading towards an endless chaos. My heart gets heavy as I think about Nepal's future. Where is Nepal heading? Where are We heading? This peaceful country is now fighting in the name of ethnicity. Nepal is awaiting Jestha 14 with lots of hopes and aspirations, but, along with it, doubts and insecurities have grown roots in Nepalese' minds. Sometimes I feel there's no point in thinking about all of these stuffs, after all I have other things of my personal interest but the other side of me doesn't let me neglect it either. Wonder what future holds for Nepal and its people...... 

Don't fight your thoughts. They are stronger than you are. If you want to rid yourself of them, accept them. Think about what they want you to think about until they grow tired.

If you want to enter into contact with God, you need to make room in their soul.

Nature's most important law : Every moment needs to pause at times.

Destabilisation : Normally, two people converse at arm's length. When one of them approaches the other too closely, the other's thinking becomes discouraged.

qouted from : The Valkyrines

Why do i make mistakes?

Why do i make mistakes?
I ask this to myself.
Each night in perfect solitude
I find a different inner-side,
A persona that is ever-hidden
Unable to expose in chaos.
I find a deep comfort in tranquility.
The silent night is great
I love the silence of darkness,
So calm, So serene
It's when there's a downpour,
A downpour of my thoughts,
My emotions and my feelings.
I get immense pleasure,
At times a great fear
And sometimes a dilemma.
Tears wish to roll down my eyes
Heart wishes to get shattered
My soul wishes to cry
My mind stops it
Why do i try to control myself?
Why do i again make a mistake?
Why do i limit myself?
why do i make mistakes?

june 27, 2007
23:40

A SPIRIT'S RHAPSODY

all across the darkness

spirits pervading crying

desperately trying to catch some sight.

suddenly our eyes met

not a single blink, shocked to see.

i realised, that was my spirit

couldn't believe i was dead,

already dead !

i could see scars everywhere

deeply wounded was my body,

must have cried for help.

i try to speak, say a few words

hoping to desert myself from suffocation

no voice coming, no sound heard.

i wonder if my spirit shall,

shall always remain 

detached from tranquility?

give me salvation i cry!

give me salvation i cry!

acceptance

for the first time i reacted in a pretty cool way......i have always been a pretty moody person.....i myself don't know how i react to any particular situation. my mom always tells me anger is my biggest weakness but i guess its my zodiac sign's trait...

i wuz goin thru this page few moments back tryin more to explore my sign .....learnt few new things.....i hav awaz luvd readin horoscopes n knowin more abt my sign....i guess m gettin a bit off track......

i guess i hav now become more of a mature person....i hav learnt acceptance....i hav learnt that we need to let go of thinz which we can't hold on to....i used to fight for thinz that were never meant to b mine.....still i had that childish zeal to fyt against destiny n attain wot i desired of.....no matter wot da consequence be.

lately, i hav understood lyf is not awaz about gettin wot we wish....smtyms we need to compromise n trust me lyf nt only offers abscence but also in return it offers beautiful moments n an everlastin prescence....i think m feelin sleepy...i need to sleep.....gud nyt all...!!!